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| Your heartbeat
The metronome that reminds me
You’re alive
Click, click, click,
The beat that keeps time
When to strike the next chord
-Fermata
Your inhalations
Like the tide
As if I were lying on a beach
Don’t sweep over me
There will be no intermezzo
Not tonight
It is beautiful
But, it is pain
Stop beating
Stop breathing
Stop loving me
I will only be lonely tomorrow
Your love
When my metronome awakens me
It, like the tide, recedes in the night
There will only be
My heartbeat
Click, click, click
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| Creative Writing - Stream of Consciousness
English Assignment
It was a cold, dark and rainy night in November. Dostoevsky was coming over for coffee, but it was nearly nine o' clock, and I hadn't seen or heard a word from him. I wonder where he is, I thought as I looked out the window. I didn't want to be rude to my other guests, so I quickly returned to the lounge and offered George, whose name was really Mary Ann, another cup of Macchiato. George was one of the usual visitors in our group along with E.P., Tru, and Francis. I tried to keep the conversation light, but my mind was really on the absence of one of our dearest friends. How could he desert us like this? This wasnt characteristic of him at all. My mind wandered as E.P. was complaining of hearing a beating noise and Francis responded with witty remarks that made E.P. somewhat nervous.
Suddenly, I heard a tapping on the door. About time, I thought as I quickly walked to the door. Oh... I stared into the dark night. I must admit, I was a little bit afraid, but mostly startled. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, and then I noticed a man, dressed in black, standing in the black night. Nonchalantly, and silently, he entered the room. In his hand was a video camera. He seemed vaguely familiar, as if he was from a dream. Perhaps it was merely a trip in the wires of my mind. He suddenly assumed a stance creating a completely different aura. I stiffened in anticipation at what he was about to proclaim. "I am a ridiculous man. They call me a madman now. That would be a distinct rise in my social position were it not that they still regard me as being as ridiculous as ever." He bowed, we stared, and he abruptly left the room.
The silence was broken by E.P. asking if anyone else heard the pounding noise. I tried my best to smile pleasantly at him as I shook my head. We all try our best to be patient with him; he doesn't always make much sense. Then, I heard the pounding noise too! I sat and listened intently. I wonder what that could be? Does everyone else hear that? I didn't get the chance to ask, for Francis looked at me and said, "Well, aren't you going to get the door?" Yet again startled, I jumped from the sofa and walked a little bit slower this time to the door. I slowly cracked the door, which burst open followed by a man in a blue uniform. I hid behind the door as I was sure I recognized this man. From where did I know his face? Was this all a dream? He stared me in the eyes, looking through me, into the depths of my soul. I began to quiver. And then, he smiled. Not a big toothy grin, but a relaxed, pleasant, honest smile. He tipped his hat, and said, "You ought to thank God, perhaps. How do you know? Perhaps God is saving you for something. But keep a good heart and have less fear! Are you afraid of the great expiation before you? No, it would be shameful to be afraid of it. Since you have taken such a step, you must harden your heart. There is justice in it. You must fulfill the demands of justice. I know that you dont believe it, but indeed, life will bring you through. You will live it down in time. What you need now is fresh air, fresh air, fresh air!" He bowed, we stared, and he abruptly left the room.
I don't know how to handle this, I was thinking as I walked into the kitchen and poured a glass of water. This is just too much, I thought. I lit a candle and walked back into the lounge just in time to hear Tru remark that his neighbor, who was a brilliant author, would like to join us sometime. I nodded my head, thinking if too many more added to our number I might have to add another chair or loveseat. I sat in my favorite recliner as I looked at the time. The clock was about to strike 11 o' clock, at which time Francis would probably remark that it was getting late and he must be going. He did so every evening we met. But as the clock struck 11 o' clock there was a rap at the door. I looked intently on everyone in the room before I rose and opened the door. I breathed deeply and opened the door composed and steadily. Whatever was coming through my door, I would be ready for it. In stepped a young gentleman dressed in a tuxedo with a rose in hand. His eyes looked into mine as he handed me the rose. He whispered, "'What is hell?' I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love." He bowed, we stared, and he abruptly left the room.
Francis offered us all a cigarette as I poured some more coffee. We stepped out on the back porch, and we listened to the silence. Over the sound of the rain a song began to rise from someone in the yard. I smiled, not the least bit surprised. I began to sing with him, and after a moment, I ran off the porch into the rain, dancing while singing at the top of my lungs. I felt free, as life ran through my veins. My friends joined me out in the yard as they ran and twirled with their eyes closed, feeling the freezing rain drench our skin. When I stopped singing, it was silent. George, E.P., Francis, and Tru were no longer there. It was completely dark all around me, and there was no noise except for the steady fall of the rain. It is so cold, I thought as I walked back to the porch. I grabbed a thick blanket off of the sofa in the lounge and curled up by the fire. There sat a stack of books, which I noticed were covered in coffee, cigarette ashes, rose petals, and rain. | | |
| Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.
This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrow.
The wise hand opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.
~ Held | | |
| For those of you who don't read my blogspot I didn't want you to miss out on all the excitement!...(to keep updated, check out www.butwithyourmind.blogspot.com )
Firstly, I want to thank my readers for taking the time to read my rants, questions, giggly recollections, and theories, no matter how bizarre. I want you to know how especially greatful I am for your feedback through emails, comments on here, and phone calls. It is such a blessing when you call or write to check up on me because of what I've said on my blog. But, I'm not through with you yet! I need your support more than ever.
I was reading Exodus 17 this evening, something stirred in my heart, and I thought "That's me!" I am just like the Israelites, so many thousands of years before.
" [The people of Israel] tested the Lord, saying, 'Is the Lord among us, or not?'" - Exodus 17:7b
When I returned from Costa Rica I felt my heart breaking and bleeding for the children of prostitutes and drug dealers, for the down-trodden, the hurting, the lost. I was so overwhelmed by leaving that beautiful place that I cried for 4 hours on the busride to the airport, and teared up throughout the 4 hour plane ride. When I returned to North America, I was even more overwhelmed. We have so much that we don't need! Yet we complain and are discontent. Instead of taking the pain I felt for people and turning it into change. I turned this pain inward, allowing it to eat at me. Maybe not noticibly from the outside, but I've felt it eating at me. Where is God in the seemingly god-less place? I have felt like I'm wandering in the desert. Kennesaw State has felt like a wilderness.
"But I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
And so here I am, aware that even though I have doubted and searched, there is still something much bigger than me that I want to be a part of.
Sunday morning, the Parkers and I went to a small church to hear Karen Durnham speak. She works in 27 refugee camps in the West Bank section of Israel (also known as Palestine or Judea & Samaria). I cannot begin to explain how amazing her work is, and how it has been blessed, but what should be impossible, has been possible for her. She has been granted NGO status (only 90 organizations of the past 58 years have been granted this). She has 45 slots available to come and work at the refugee camps, distributing milk and food, fulfilling both physical and spiritual needs of the people. In this part of Israel, Israelis cannot enter, other Arabs cannot enter, but WE can go!
David and I have had trouble sleeping, we are so excited about this opportunity. I have never seen him so exuberant about anything since I have known him (well, there was this one time that we went to a used book store and he bought about 12 books. That was close to the thrill he expresses now, except after a few moments his excitement melted away as he delved into a book that he quickly became lost in.), nor have I ever felt this kind of inner peace and joy. It is that moment that hits you when you know what's the right thing to do.
Our tentative schedule is to "scout out" the land approximately December 13-January 5 and if everything is clear from there to return the first of June 2008 for an extended period (app. one year, or who knows?).
Nonetheless, this requires a huge step of faith and courage on our parts (and our families) to be provided for financially as well as for our safety.
Our expenses (per person) will be $400/month ( $5000) plus airfare (totalling $2300) plus trip exenses in December and safety net. This would be a total of about $9,000-$10,000.
That is a big number. I was reading the first chapter of Joshua, specifically Joshua 1:9:
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
But, I have never noticed the verses before verse 9.
Verse 5: No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
Verse 6: Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them.
Verse 7: Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.
It seems as if He is really trying to get his point across.
This is where your part comes in. Please join me in praying for courage, guidance, and financial provision.
I'm sure you will hear more about this in the near future! Hope all of you have a wonderful week! | | |
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You Scored an A
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You got 10/10 questions correct.
It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors.
If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs.
As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human.
And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.
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